Asking Eric: I introduced my sister to her husband. She blames me for her miserable marriage

Dear Eric: Recently my first cousin, Melanie, contacted me to offer condolences at the passing of my wife. The contact came after an uncomfortable hiatus of 18 years during which Melanie and I drifted apart from each other.

While I would love to forget those 18 years and rebuild my suddenly resuscitated relationship with my incredibly attractive and massively accomplished cousin, she appears to be holding those long years against me and is obviously ambivalent about rebuilding a lapsed familial bond.

Although I have been able to meet her and her lovely family members once, my subsequent overtures via phone and email have been most brutally and unceremoniously rebuffed. But I am determined to pursue this despite insurmountable barriers she has so consistently erected.

I wonder if you would recommend a different approach, or perhaps this relationship now is totally unsalvageable, and I should cut my losses and move on.

— Rejected Cousin

Dear Cousin: Please move on.

Talking about your cousin’s attractiveness and your insistence on breaking through her barriers raises a flag. Like a big flag. One of those banners that fly behind planes.

Your intentions don’t seem familial. And that’s likely coming through to Melanie. Even if everything is on the up and up, her “no” is a complete sentence, and you should respect it.

Dear Eric: My 74-year-old sister wants to blame me for introducing her husband to her 50 years ago. I did not pick him out for her, just an introduction. She wants me to share the blame for her miserable life with this man. She had many opportunities to leave him but chose to stay. He treats her like garbage, and she just keeps taking it. I do feel sorry for her, but she won’t listen to anyone. Was she wrong for blaming me or did I take it wrong?

— Cupid Trouble

Dear Cupid: Now I’ve heard everything! How exactly does your sister think that you’re responsible for five decades of her decisions? Nope. Case dismissed! I do hope that your sister is able to find relief or a solution to her misery. But concerning you, she seems to be choosing blame over action. That won’t solve anything.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)