Dear Eric: My 50th high school reunion is later this year and I’m not sure if I should go.
I was a smart kid who moved to an ex-urban town immediately before high school began. I was a science geek, creative, on the autism spectrum but undiagnosed, and a hard-core introvert who didn’t have traditional interests like other girls.
I was bullied by popular girls and jocks because I was a hippie who never conformed to the school’s culture. Needless to say, I moved to the city as soon as I could and never kept in touch with anyone.
Rather than immediately dismiss the idea of attending the 50th reunion, I’m somewhat curious about these people. There’s also a big part of me that fears they’ll still look down on me even though I did quite well professionally, creatively, and personally. An even bigger fear is that I still don’t have the social skills to navigate among people who are completely different from me and I’ll come off like an arrogant weirdo. Should I go or send my regrets?
– A Class Above
Dear Class: First, let me say that every class reunion I’ve been to has been delightfully awkward. Standing around eating chicken skewers while updating someone you had biology class with on the events of the last 50 years doesn’t come naturally.
So, embrace the awkward and go. If you don’t feel comfortable, you can leave and return to your successful life, but you’ll always be a little curious if you don’t.
Remember: this isn’t an accounting of your life’s progress. And it doesn’t have to mean comeuppance for your bullies (unless you want it to!) A reunion is a one-night coda on a particular, sometimes difficult, period in the past. Good for a momentary visit, but don’t stay too long.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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