Dear Eric: We go to a lot of concerts and sporting events, and I want to watch and/or listen. However, so often, others just want to talk. I need a polite way to ask them to leave me alone so I can watch and enjoy the event. Any ideas?
—Here for the Band
Dear Here for the Band: It’s probably easiest to address this beforehand. If you’re going with a group, or even with a friend or two, tell them in advance, “I’m really excited about this event. I know sometimes the group can get into conversation at things like this. But I like to focus. So, don’t think I’m being rude if I don’t participate.”
What you’re looking to do is just reset an expectation. It sounds like the people you go with expect concerts and sporting events to be opportunities for social connection. And for a lot of people, that’s what they are. But you’re not alone in wanting to pay attention only to what’s happening on stage or on the field. Your friends may not notice this or may think that you can easily switch from watching mode to conversation mode. So, cluing them in about this part of you will help them and you.
If they slip up and try to engage you, offer a reminder. “Remember, I’m really into the concert. But don’t let me stop you from having fun. I’ll catch up on the conversation afterward. And I’ll catch you up on the set list.”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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