Asking Eric: How do I tell my friend to stop being a hypocrite?

Dear Eric: I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for about 10 years. We both share views that lean left. In the past, we’ve shared many dinners discussing the inequities of our country and other political-type topics. My friend is constantly lamenting about how unfair our society is and is super empathetic to the plight of the disadvantaged, which I understand.

My friend has two homes paid off, retired early, and is sitting on tons of money. She could actually be doing something with her own money to physically and financially help the underserved, but she doesn’t. She’s constantly on this soap box and I can’t take it anymore.

I know confronting her with what I see as her own hypocrisy won’t go over well. Last time we had one of these conversations, it made me super uncomfortable. I asked her why she talks to me about this so much and what purpose it served since we can’t solve the world’s problems. She said that “you have good ideas, maybe you’ll have a solution.” Well, I do have a good idea, and it is for her to sell her second home and fund some college scholarships, pay for drug/alcohol rehab for those who want it, provide housing, used cars, day care, and other things to those in need. She could single-handedly change and improve dozens of lives.

I expect my solution will go over like a ton of bricks but I’m tired of hearing about her angst when she actually has the ability to do some real good in this world instead of just talking about it. Please advise.

—Do Gooder

Dear Do Gooder: I don’t see why you can’t offer the suggestions you listed here. If you’re afraid of coming off as too dogmatic, frame them as suggestions, or even find some charities or nonprofits you want to support and ask her if she’ll join you.

If you expect your solution to go over like a ton of bricks, you have nothing to lose. And, who knows, one of those bricks might lay the foundation for more charitable actions.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)