Dear Eric: Several months ago, a friend’s boyfriend broke up with her. She is devastated over this as she loves him very much. Even though he treated her very poorly by saying she is stupid and is an embarrassment, she still loves him.
She continues to speak to him, even helping him out. She calls me to tell me of the latest hurtful situation he has done. I have told her I wouldn’t tolerate being involved with a negative person like that, but she can’t bring herself to cut ties with him.
I’m frustrated with the continuing “woe is me” conversations. She doesn’t seem to be able to move on, which is very difficult for me to hear the same sob story over and over. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
—Frustrated Friend
Dear Friend: It’s OK to set a boundary here and stick to it. Tell her something like: “I love you, I care about you, and I can’t stand by while you get hurt. It’s not your fault; your ex-boyfriend is mistreating you. But when we talk about you continuing to engage with him, I get frustrated because nothing changes and you deserve better. So, I can’t talk about him with you anymore. Remember that I’m here to help you at any time, but rehashing the last bad thing he did doesn’t work for me.”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
