Dear Amy: I’ve been cohabiting with “Sharon” for more than five years. Our romantic relationship has seen its ups and downs (like anyone, I guess), but something that happened recently has caused me to think about breaking up with her.
Sharon’s work history is pretty spotty, and I’ve been available and willing to support our household when she has been in-between jobs.
We don’t “keep score” about our finances, but there is no question that I have been the primary support, not only paying our rent, but also paying for her car payment during several months when she has been stretched very thin.
Honestly I’ve felt proud that I’ve been able to help.
Sharon has always expressed her appreciation for this and usually offers to “pay me back” at some point in the future. I always tell her not to worry about it.
Recently, Sharon learned that she had inherited almost $10,000 after her great-aunt’s death. She has been giddy, talking about all the things she is going to spend the money on. Not one word about compensating me, or about using any of this money to support our household.
This feels like a last straw, and I’m seeking a gut check.
– In the Red
Dear In the Red: When charting your future, you should look to your past.
You and “Sharon” have established a pattern.
If you want more of the same, you should stay in the relationship, but it sounds as if you believe you deserve something better – and I agree.
Dear Amy: “Depressing (but not depressed!) Daughter” wondered how to describe her dying father’s condition to people who asked.
A man in our community had ALS, and his wife came up with what I thought was the best reply.
She always responded, “He’s doing as well as can be expected.”
This phrase works in many situations.
– Terry
Dear Terry: That phrase seems both opaque and polite.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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