Dear Amy: I have a “newer” friend. Let’s call him “Timothy.”
We have been intimate a few times. Timothy has made it very clear that he’s open and willing to “do it” again, anytime I want.
During our last visit, Timothy talked about how attractive the women are at his workplace. He said he’s unsure if he could successfully compete with other men to ask them out.
Amy, this rubs me the wrong way, but I’m unsure how to talk to him about it.
Even though we are not “officially” together, I don’t feel comfortable that he is telling me that he wants other women, while also wanting me.
Am I overreacting?
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
– Midlife Lady
Dear Midlife Lady: You and “Timothy” are not “officially” together. You are not even unofficially together.
“I am willing to ‘do it’ again any time you want” conveys a willingness to have sex with you again if you’re into it and your schedules align.
While Timothy might believe that this is a generous statement, it is expressed with the same personal connection a person might have toward scheduling their next dental appointment. He has implied that he doesn’t have a chance with the attractive women at the office – but that’s where you come in!
I believe you might have misread Timothy’s intent regarding you. You have already had sex; now it’s time to try to have an honest conversation.
You should ask him, quite simply: “Are you interested in having anything more than a sexual relationship with me?”
After that – no matter how he answers, if you want to form a personal and exclusive relationship with a man, you should probably keep looking – because this guy sounds like a jerk.
Dear Amy: “Engaged and Worried” didn’t include his younger brother as a groomsman at his wedding, and asked five old friends instead.
I guarantee that in 25 years, those five old friends might have fallen by the wayside, but the brother will still be there. He should be the “best man.”
– Grateful Brother
Dear Brother: Very wise. Thank you.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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