Dear Amy: I’m a 29-year-old man. My wife and I have been together for six years. We got married three years ago with a wonderful wedding that included all of our family and friends.
Our wedding is just about the last truly happy memory I have from our relationship.
My wife and I do not get along, and I can’t really figure out why. We both like our jobs and we have a nice apartment. We share expenses and household chores.
I feel like she is just always unhappy. I can’t seem to please her. Sometimes I dread coming home from work, because I’m never sure about what will greet me. I’ve started fantasizing about leaving the marriage, and that makes me feel absolutely terrible.
I’m reaching out for some guidance. I need a fresh perspective about what I should do.
— Worried and Wondering
Dear Worried: You don’t mention having any conversations about whether to have children, but my first suggestion is that you should not have kids until you arrive at some resolution about your relationship.
You two should pursue professional counseling immediately.
You should broach this by sitting down with your wife and laying it all on the line. Use “I statements” and stick to describing your own feelings: “I walk on eggshells at home. I feel sad and lonely. I’m worried about our future.”
Please, take a deep breath, stay calm, and do your best to create a lot of space for your wife to respond to you. You are seeking insight, not another fight.
Dear Amy: The question from “Frustrated Neighbor” hit home. This very ungenerous person was complaining about the unkempt state of their neighbor’s home and yard.
Well, I was once that neighbor with the unkempt property. I was struggling with treatment for cancer, while being a mom to three kids.
My neighbor complained — via a note — but never offered to help.
— Survivor
Dear Survivor: We never know what is going on in someone else’s life – unless we ask.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
