Dear Amy: I am originally from Europe and have lived in Los Angeles for more than 55 years – so naturally, I consider LA my home.
Often in a group setting when I’m introduced to new people, I’ll say that I’m from LA.
A woman recently responded to this by saying, “You don’t have an LA accent.”
Just as it is rude to comment on someone’s weight, shape, or appearance, I would think it’s inappropriate to comment on someone’s accent and how they speak/sound.
I don’t feel it’s necessary to divulge the country where I spent my childhood years. Furthermore, I don’t want to respond to queries of this nature at all.
Is a response even necessary when it was not really a question, but merely a statement?
– Dan, in Los Angeles
Dear Dan: I’m curious about what a Los Angeles accent sounds like.
Is it the up-talking popularized by “Valley girls” in the ‘80s? The Kardashian’s low throated vocal fry? The Spanish-inflected accent of some of the almost 50 percent of the Los Angeles population who are Hispanic?
My point is that in a cosmopolitan melting pot like your home city, many accents qualify as being “totally LA.”
The unkindest assumption is to believe that the person you quote was really trying to figure out whether you are “American,” or to imply that you are not.
This “where are you from” intimation comes off as rude to Americans like you – who may have been born elsewhere – because it paints you as “other.”
The kinder assumption is that someone asking about your accent is looking for a way to connect. They may believe that you and they share a similar ethnic or regional background. Or they’re trying (in a clunky way) to start a conversation.
If this is posed as a question, you can respond: “I’ve lived in Los Angeles for over half a century; this is my hometown.”
If this is posed as a statement (“You don’t have an LA accent,”) you can respond by deflecting and asking where they grew up.
Or you can say, “Hmmm. How about that?”
Dear Amy: “Sad and Confused” was upset when their long-time friends basically snapped their vacation rental of many years out from under them.
There is an ethic among people who rent hard-to-find vacation houses: Renters ruthlessly protect their rental weeks, and if friends poach, it means the friendship is basically over.
– Island Renter
Dear Renter: I tend to agree.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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