Dear Abby: My son-in-law, “Samuel,” whom I adore, is a great partner to my daughter and an amazing father to my grandson.
Unfortunately, he talks excessively, moving from topic to topic, even when people walk away or try to deflect to a different subject. He believes he’s an expert in multiple subjects, and he expounds about experiences I’m fairly confident never happened.
Samuel comes from a history of abuse but has been supported and loved by our family for years. I know he loves and trusts me, and I’m conflicted about whether (or how) I should tell him how his excessive talking may deter his future goals.
He is highly intelligent, but if I were an employer, I would pass him by. Knowing what a good, hardworking young man he is, this saddens me. Should I have a private conversation with him about it? This may seem trivial, but it weighs on my heart. Please give me an outsider’s opinion.
—Wise Mom-in-Law
Dear Wise Mom-in-Law: My intuition tells me that would be a mistake. However, discussing your concerns with your daughter so she can talk to Samuel about them might be a more diplomatic way to get the message across.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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