Dear Eric: I’ve been in a relationship with my partner on and off for years. He promised me that our relationship will be formal for his upcoming birthday. But I found out he cheated on me. It hurts so much. And now he is engaged to her. Now he wants to have a friendship with me. How can I keep him out of my life for good?
—Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: Block, delete and phone a friend, i.e., tell your friends “I need to break this cycle, and I need you to help me. If I start talking about reaching out to him, hold me back.”
I’m sorry that he’s been stringing you along. Friendship, in this case, needs to be earned. He’s not doing that. It’s a great time to move on.
Dear Eric: As a retired dental hygienist, I feel the need to add some critical information for the 74-year-old who wants to refuse dental treatment and feels railroaded into making appointments (“Dental Dilemma”).
What this individual needs is for the provider to explain and show them what is happening in their mouth. These days we have digital X-rays and intraoral cameras. Dental personnel can use these tools to magnify on the computer screen the problem areas so they can be pointed out to a layperson.
Many older people take multiple medications that have dry mouth as a side effect. Saliva is a natural cleansing agent and helps to keep the bad bacteria away. Add dry mouth to poor tooth brushing and flossing due to a loss of dexterity as we age, and one could wind up with a mouthful of decay, as well as periodontal disease.
Perhaps Dental Dilemma could get a second opinion from another dentist if they’re not comfortable asking for better explanations. Just like cancer left untreated grows, small dental issues have a way of becoming big dental issues.
—Veteran Hygienist
Dear Hygienist: Thank you for this perspective. I agree—dental health is extremely important, and the letter writer should also strongly consider seeking another opinion or getting a more in-depth explanation of the problems that the first dentist is concerned about. It can often be hard to advocate for oneself in medical settings, but taking the time to ask questions until one understands will help patient and provider.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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