Dear Annie: My soon-to-be ex started spreading lies about me in the spring of 2021, telling people I’ve had three nervous breakdowns and now I’m insane. After a counselor told him his claims were unfounded, he stopped, but not after he convinced our daughter I was mentally ill. The rest of our children, and 11 out of 12 grandchildren, disagree with their Dad/Papaw.
Our daughter has always been a daddy’s girl, and sadly, continues to be. She even told me I was “mentally ill” on Mother’s Day in private. I asked her, “How am I mentally ill?” and she wouldn’t answer me.
How should I handle our relationship? I love her dearly, and she was our first born. It grieves me to know what he’s done to her.
— Cheating Husband Spreading Lies
Dear Cheating Husband Spreading Lies: You can’t control the lies that come out of your ex-husband’s mouth. Continue to show your love and support for your daughter; perhaps you can even offer to attend therapy together if you think it would help prove your sanity. Eventually, she will put the puzzle pieces together.
Dear Annie: My son married his girlfriend last summer. They had been dating for nine years and lived together for most of that time. My daughter-in-law is a sweet girl who moved out of state so my son could pursue his career and has supported him in every way.
Just two years ago, they were sure they would be having a baby this year. They have been married for 10 months, and my son has decided he’s no longer in love with her. He told me that the party and the paper seemed to change everything for them. As much as I’ve told him it’s his responsibility to hang in there during this transitional time, he seems done.
My daughter-in-law wants to talk to me about the situation. I have been avoiding her as I have absolutely no idea how to handle it when it comes to her and her extended family who I run into here and there. I feel awful. Help.
— Not a Grandma
Dear Not a Grandma: You’re undeniably in a tough spot, but avoiding your daughter-in-law and her family won’t solve anything — and I’m sure it’s not making them feel any better about the situation, either.
Suggest to your son that he and his wife explore couples counseling before he throws away almost a decade of a good thing. You love and care for them both, so continue to be warm, supportive and hopeful while keeping in mind this isn’t a problem you can fix for them.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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