Dear Eric: I got into an argument with my husband and afterward I went into my bedroom to be away from him. My best friend, who was visiting, didn’t ask me how I was doing. Instead, she sat with him in the living room, watching TV, listening to him tell her how I’m no longer the same person and I’ve gone off my rocker etc.
I am extremely upset over the fact that she never came to see me and ask how I was. I feel like she really isn’t a true friend to me.
Since the incident, I have been cordial and have been treating her as an acquaintance rather than a friend.
I am not sure if I should continue our friendship and sit down to try to repair our relationship. How should I proceed?
— Betrayed Bestie
Dear Bestie: Your husband shouldn’t be bad-mouthing you to your friend, especially within earshot. That creates a complicated dynamic for everyone.
But I suspect that the complicated dynamic was probably already in place before you went to your bedroom. It’s very uncomfortable being alone with a couple while they fight. Your friend may have felt trapped.
Reach out to her and let her know about your feelings in order to clear the air. Ask her how she feels about the whole thing. If she felt that she was put into a position she didn’t want to be in, make amends.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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