Top 5 Best Ways to explain this column:
5. Something I’m going to do two or three (maybe four) times a year.
4. A weird window into my brain’s need to make lists
3. An excuse to slip some things in that aren’t always sports.
2. A way to finish my Sunday column when I have to go to a wedding on Saturday
1. Something is fun to write and hopefully fun to read.
Top 5 Most Confidence-Inspiring Red Sox closers
4. Dick Radatz
3. Keith Foulke
2. Tom Gordon
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Top 5 Things sports doesn’t need
5. On-deck circles – Who uses them?
3. An 18-game NFL Schedule
2. Separate award winners in each baseball league — Now that everybody plays everybody, the American League and National League are basically conferences. You don’t have a Western Conference MVP in the NBA or an Eastern Conference Vezina Trophy winner in the NHL.
1. An expanded NCAA basketball tournament — There is nobody without self-interest, who thinks this is a good idea.
Top 5 Celtics to never win a championship
5. Ed Macauley
4. Jaylen Brown
3. Antoine Walker
2. Reggie Lewis
Top 5 Lamest Ways to euphemize a sports firing
In honor of Greg Berhalter being “relieved of duties:”
5. Reassigned within the organization – This is what colleges do to avoid staight-up canning the former star alumnus.
4. Moved in a different direction – The team wants to move toward winning and would like the coach to move to another job at another place.
3. Have mutually parted ways with – Let’s be honest. Bill Belichick was fired.
2. Announce the departure of – This sounds the fired coach made his flight on-time.
1. Relieved of duties — Nobody is relieved of anything. That sounds like lessening the burden. The coach’s duties were ripped out of their hands.
Top TV 5 shows I’m waiting to come back
5. Amazing Race
4. Ghosts
3. Poker Face
2. Stranger Things
1. Severance
Top 5 Most Quotable Current Boston Athletes
New England Patriots safety Jabrill Peppers (5) reacts after recovering a fumble by the New York Giants during the first quarter of an NFL football game, Sunday, Nov. 26, 2023, in East Rutherford, N.J. (AP Photo/Adam Hunger)AP
Top 5 New England States
5. New Hampshire
4. Vermont
3. Maine
2. Rhode Island
1. Massachusetts
Top 5 names for the Utah NHL Hockey team
The Utah Hockey Club officially joined the NHL on Thursday and in doing so revealed the uniforms the team will wear during its inaugural season in 2024-25.Utah Hockey Club
… out of the six bad choices they’ve narrowed it down to
5. Utah Blizzard — Today’s special at Dairy Queen is the …
4. Utah Mammoth — This sounds like an indoor lacrosse team
3. Utah Hockey Club — Hi, we’d like everyone to know we are not creative.
2. Utah Yeti — This would be a terrific name if they were joining the ECHL.
1. Utah Outlaws — Please choose this. Please choose this.
Top 5 Best jersey numbers worn in Boston
Basketball Hall of Famer Larry Bird on stage during the enshrinement ceremony for the 2013 class of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame at Symphony Hall in Springfield, Mass., Sunday, Sept. 8, 2013. (AP Photo/Steven SenneAP
If Mason Lohrei and Javon Baker become stars and join Bill Russell and Johnny Pesky then No. 6 could make this list. No. 15 and No. 8 were hard cuts.
5. – 24 — Ty Law, Manny Ramirez, Stephon Gilmore, Terry O’Reilly, Sam Jones, Dwight Evans
4. – 7 – Phil Esposito, Jaylen Brown, Ray Bourque, Trot Nixon, Reggie Smith, Rick Burleson
3. – 9 – Ted Williams, John Bucyk, Derrick White, Matthew Judon
2. – 4 – Bobby Orr, Joe Cronin, Adam Vinatieri, Isaiah Thomas Jrue Holiday
1. – 33 – Larry Bird, Zdeno Chara, Jason Varitek, Kevin Faulk
Top 5 loathsome Chiefs
No order other than alphabetical. This collection of bad people is a good reason to root against the Chiefs, even though Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce seem like good guys.
Isaiah Buggs
Harrison Butker
Frank Clark
Tyreek Hill
Terrell Suggs
Top 5 Games Shows on TV
5. The Price is Right
4. The Quiz With Balls – Really. I’m not kidding. It’s good.
3. Match Game
2. Password
1. Jeopardy
Top 5 Boston Sports Beards All-Time
Boston Red Sox Mike Napoli, right, pulls Jonny Gomes’ beard after Gomes hit a three run home run off of St. Louis Cardinals relief pitcher Seth Maness, left, during the sixth inning of Game 4 of baseball’s World Series Sunday, Oct. 27, 2013, in St. Louis.(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall) AP
5. Alexi Lalas – Every time you saw it A Spin Doctors song was instantly stuck in your head.
4. Zdeno Chara – Beard turned Chara into a grizzly bear.
3. Jaylen Brown – It feels like every time his game improves, his beard adds an inch.
2. Jonny Gomes – The inspiration for the bearded band of World Series winning brothers in 2013.
1. Mike Napoli – The actual best beard on that team.
Top 5 Boston Short Guys
5. Wes Welker
4. Isaiah Thomas
3. Brad Marchand
2. Doug Flutie
1. Dustin Pedroia
Follow MassLive sports columnist Matt Vautour on Twitter at @MattVautour424.
