Dear Eric: I may be hopelessly old-fashioned at 73 years old, but when my children were young and received a gift, I gave them notecards, stamps, addresses, and explained the ways a “thank you” could be worded.
I encouraged them to include information about their lives, school, etc. It seems that now parents don’t care enough to teach their children to acknowledge a gift. I’ve been chastised for discontinuing to send cards/gifts/money to young people past the age of 15, who never thank me, or even acknowledge a gift.
I am frustrated that I am forced to contact the recipient simply to hear the excuse, “Oh yeah, I got it. Thanks”. Am I wrong for expecting a “thank you”, and setting the consequences?
– Disgruntled Gift Giver
Dear Giver: Social mores may change but the words “thank you” still mean the same thing. You’re not asking a lot and if your relatives can’t teach their kids to respect your boundary and acknowledge your gift, then you don’t owe it to them.
Fifteen is old enough to learn the value of healthy communication and gratitude. Besides, it’s important to remember that relationships, especially with older relatives, aren’t ATMs. Hold the line!
Dear Eric: In response to the letter writer looking for ways to respond when people ask what she does all day in retirement, I always say: “I wake up in the morning with nothing to do and it takes me all day to do it.”
– Booked Calendar
Dear Booked: Love it! Enjoy your crowded, carefree days in good health and good humor!
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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