Dear Amy: I’m the mother of two adults.
My daughter has my only two grandchildren.
I moved to another state after retirement for about six years and during those six years I traveled back for every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc.
I recently moved back and it’s TOTALLY different.
My daughter favors her in-laws. She has allowed the kids to call my brother and his wife “grandparents.”
I don’t get invited to “hang out” with her, “the in-laws” and “the grandparents.” I feel replaced.
How can I address this without destroying what little relationship I have?
– Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: I suggest that you stay calm and take this in careful stages.
In-between special occasions, your daughter’s family has chugged along according to a basic pattern. You are going to have to look for ways to integrate into their lives.
Setting aside the choice to refer to your brother and his wife as “grandparents,” (what’s with that?), I suggest that you should invite the whole family (including in-laws) for a barbecue or meal in your new home.
Also, share your concern with your daughter: “I feel like I’m struggling here. Can you help me find ways to spend more time with the family?”
Dear Amy: I’m enjoying some of the “rerun” columns you are featuring lately. These columns remind me of how consistent and funny you’ve been through the years. Thank you for the entertainment!
– A Fan
Dear Fan: To be candid, they haven’t all been winners. I am cherry-picking some of my favorites.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
